The
holidays often include visiting, and I have been lucky enough to see many of
the Secret Mamas recently. When we meet, our blog obviously comes up. We have
been tired lately — and our trip to BlogHer 13 seems to have overwhelmed
us more than invigorated us. As with many things in life, we left gung-ho, but
then got home and life set in. We had things to do that didn’t include SEO and
photo tagging.
We
suddenly felt like our little blog wasn’t “right” or “searchable,” and so we
put it aside. But here I am trying to get back at it. A gift to myself,
perhaps, and the mamas I love so much.
Often
when I share a moment with my kids I think of the blog — I think I should
write this. I don’t expect anyone to read it, really, but I do know that it is
something I do for myself that doesn’t require getting out of my pajamas, so I
am all for it.
Here we
go…
A Doll
Loulou is
14 months now! How does this happen? Time flies, pajamas get too small, nursing
ebbs, and some sadness creeps in. The baby is gone, the toddler emerges. She is
a happy girl and plays with almost anything, and with Christmas around the
corner my husband and I have been wondering what Santa should bring. He obviously
has to bring something for her because W can’t assume she is unworthy while he
gets spoiled.
With the
clock ticking and a Toys R Us coupon about to expire, I hit the mall this
morning. I wandered the aisles and tried to think about Loulou as I browsed the
(somewhat terrifying) selection of toys. As a second child she is already
destined for a lot of hand-me-downs, so I wanted to pick something just for
her. I touched ponies, tea sets; even a mini shopping cart held some appeal.
Always with a voice in my head — GENDER! GENDER! GENDER! it screamed.
Don’t buy pink! Be equal! No princesses!! However, she IS a girl and loves to
put on her shoes and brush her hair (seriously).
So when I arrived in the Cabbage
Patch aisle I knew I had to buy one. I knew she would love to feed a “baby” and
touch its hair. I hesitated for a moment as I snickered and rolled my eyes at
the names on their birth certificates — “Pax Adele” and “Clarissa June” —
and then I saw one whose middle name was the same as that of my oldest friend,
and I took it as a sign! I bought the doll. I did it. I gender profiled LouLou!
And, you know what, it felt good.
Tightrope Mama