Three Lists that Speak for Themselves, from BlogHer 2013

Nine and a Half Dead Giveaways that You're at an All-Woman Conference

1. Swag includes press-on nails and plastic boobs.

2. The conference organizers politely ask that attendees NOT clear their own plates after meals (it makes the servers redundant).

3. Bathroom lineups (obviously).

4. All the booze is white and/or sparkling wine with a hint of peach (could be just an American thing in general).

5. There's a nursing station.

5.5. And children present.

6. "Do you suffer from excessive menstrual bleeding?" is a question you will be asked on the exhibit floor.

7. Lots of women seen carrying their heels and walking barefoot to the shuttle bus.

8. The husbands are the arm candy, not the wives.

9. The presidential suite at the Sheraton is trashed by crafters.

Six Crazy Things People Said This Weekend

1. "The longest line in this place is at the Trojan booth. And I can't even take lube in my carry-on."

2. "Let me buy you a shot. You look like you're worn out."

3. "I can't find my ID, but here's a card that says I can take your kids away."
4. "He was the first guy to go down on me and it was disgusting. I had to take a shower after. Ahh, here's a picture of my daughter!"
5. "Wow! That's deep! Deep humour!" (attributed to Queen Latifah)
6. All the lyrics to Blurred Lines. (entirely inappropriate to play at a women's conference, FYI)

Three Things to Do with Jockey Boob Measurement Swag

Yes! Boob Measurement Swag! Jockey, in a shocking bid to become the most environmentally unfriendly company in America, provided each attendee with multiple plastic boob cups (numbered one to ten) and a measuring tape. They also provided a nifty discount certificate, which was nice, to be fair. But revolutionize bra measurement? One to ten? No more D cup?

While other attendees dumped the unwieldy boob cups in Parlour C, the swag exchange room, we hauled ours back to the Inn of Chicago and pondered.

After some musing, here's how we propose to put them to alternate use:

1. Masks for a theatre production

2. Body augmentation

 

3. Creamer bowls, card holders, or snack dishes (controversial -- very plasticky! Check first with WHO).

Please, send us your suggestions. Or better yet, send them directly to Jockey!

@Jockey

Recover and Lean In

It is Day 2 at the BlogHer 2013 Conference. We had a wonderful night out: ate a great dinner at Frontera Grill and danced the night away at a pub down the street. Then this morning we had to gingerly awake for an awesome chat with Sheryl Sandberg, the COO of Facebook.

The discussion was about her book and movement called Lean In. The book has received mixed reviews. There are critics that say it is too feminist, that it is not feminist enough...that it is just an Oprah-type book that the common will pick up and throw away. The most ironic thing is that all of the criticism that the book has received is exactly what the Facebook COO would predict would happen.  Sheryl Sandberg is a women sharing a very unpopular message about gender in this world -- and of course people would be upset -- and it is shaking the discourse we know and live everyday.

I have read the book and have really appreciated the honesty and courage that is shared in Sandberg's message and practical examples. Yes, she is a very privileged white woman, with an amazing education, wealth, and a partner, but she is still able to speak to all women in the book. She is able to connect with the CEOs and managers, the stay-at-home mothers and entrepeneurs...this is maybe a stretch, but also the lonely and isolated (this could be debated). There is one thing for sure: she has been able to inspire millions of women across the globe to "lean in." She has inspired women to start sitting at the tables, to take opportunities, and to work further towards being leaders, whether that be in communities, families, or workplaces.

Inevitably she spoke today about being a mother and working as a COO. She spoke about sexism she has experienced and how she was able to lean in and start to further pick away at the historical walls that have been put up in front of women for hundreds of years. In her practical examples, she was able to convey that women can take opportunities to challenge the status quo and speak up for what they want and need, especially in a workplace where there are laws and policies to guide appropriate treatment of all employees. All companies have a responsibility to have all human rights upheld -- that includes women being treated equally.

Sheryl did mention the fear of leaning in and spoke about the possible economic consequences of speaking up, especially in the male-dominated sphere of the workplace. She challenged all of us in the room to think about this: What would we do if we weren't afraid? What a difficult question. We all wrote down what we would do:

It was an exercised that encouraged all of us to really unpack in a simple way what is holding us back.  What are the barriers that are in front of me because I am a woman? Then begin the next discussion: How can we no longer be afraid? The Facebook COO said that we have to "change our internal game."  We have to change the challenges into opportunities and work on releasing the internal struggle and learned helplessness that has become of the reality for women all over the world. She then suggested that we work towards changing our own communities, workplaces, and network one small step at a time

We need to take that leap and Lean In.

I was inspired by the talk today, and I feel really lucky to already have my very own "Lean In Circle."  These circles were spoken about today as groups of peers that come together to speak about being a women, to discuss the challenges and figure out creative ways to make them possibilities. I feel that all of the Secret Mamas are that for each other. In our community we support each other, share with each other, and most importantly encourage each other to "break the ceiling and raise the ground" for all women.

So now when I ask myself what would I do if I weren't afraid, I am saying...I want to Change the Game and Lean In!

Gray Mama

[images taken (poorly) by East End Mama]