Wednesday, 18 July 2012

The Diaper: A Mother’s Companion: Part Two

It’s 9:35pm.

I am now in the bar. Thinking about my daughter hitting herself in the head.

When I say “no” to something. Something that will maim her, like a razor blade.

I try to not think about the guy who invited me to New York in this very bar when I was
young and beautiful but I can’t help it.

“I’ll have a beer. Do you have Mill Street Organic? Oh. Ok. No that’s OK. Something
light. A lager. Blue? Umm…”

The first “chat” blog I check out on the subject begins something like this:

“My eighteen-month-old has been hitting herself in the head, so we decided to stop
spanking her,” etcetera and so on.

Someone out there is spanking an eighteen month old? And no one commented on this
post? I mean they commented, but not on the spanking. This depressed me, shocked
me; What The… Honest To… It is unbearable to even think.

“Can I get some wings? No, twenty. At least twenty. With blue cheese. A lot of it.”

I play a move on Word with Friends with the guy. He lives in LA now. He’s married to a
lingerie manager. Lingerie store manager.

“Hi? O Hi yes, I’ll have another beer. And a Caesar salad. No a large. Thanks.”

The next blog I glance at is by a very nice-looking/sounding gal who said that at around
this stage it is normal, babies don’t know how to express emotions, they’ve picked it up
from TV or somewhere (huh?), and the advice is to ignore and distract. What?

In moments of parenting curiosity, I turn to Dr. and Martha Sears’ The Baby Book.
There is a website, but I get suspicious around those websites because of all the
ghostwriting I assume goes on. Like, for example, has anyone out there noticed that
the Dr. Spock website touts attachment parenting principals? I’m pretty sure that
attachment parenting wasn’t his deal.

Anyway The Baby Book itself is fab for the first two years of development.

“Can I get it all at the same time? Thanks.”

I should probably get home. She’s probably awake and crying.

Ding ding. New York LA just made a move.

“Can I get a half? Just a half. Thanks.”

-Drama Mama

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