I am new to writing and new to posting things on the Internet, so I am still having heart palpitations about sort-of calling some people I know ‘Bitchy Lions’.
Maybe that was harsh? Maybe I was/am emotional… maybe.
Truth be told, we all come to our various jobs with our daily baggage dragging behind us.
On a rare sane day I can appreciate that a woman not having a child doesn’t mean she doesn’t ‘get’ me. Sure, she doesn’t ‘get’ my day-to-day and she isn’t covered in bruises from being constantly kicked by a toddler, but she certainly has her own woes. I get that now in a way I maybe wasn’t willing to see on the day I wrote the first ‘Bitchy Lion’ entry. When I wrote that I was angry and sad and confused about my life choices. I still am, but less so. One of my boss’s favorite things to say about me is that I am nicer since becoming a mom. So maybe that is why I am writing this now. Maybe I have become too nice to call someone a bitch and stick with it.
As you know, I am pregnant again and just worked up the nerve to tell my boss at four months in. She actually teared up and was happy. I could see she was. On a long work trip years ago she told me she had really wanted kids and it just never happened. I think about that a lot.
And then she inevitably told her boss, the Den Mother (without any cubs), whom she assures me was also quite happy and was just glad I wasn’t quitting. Am I quitting? It sort of feels that way.