Time flies …

You know what I used to have a lot of time for? Oh, Everything.

I used to have two jobs and still regularly go to yoga, take a tap class, see all my
friends and play ultimate Frisbee. You know what I have time for now? Two haircuts
a year.

In my case, this second pregnancy has been nothing like the first.
I have fleeting moments where I think "I should do yoga" or " I should take a
prenatal vitamin" but really my outside - the - womb child is calling all the shots.
So again, catholic guilt rears it's ugly head. I obviously can't ignore W, but I really am
not paying as much attention to this fetus as I did the last time. Not. Even. Close.
And I suppose that when the newborn comes, W will inevitably wait while I nurse
and diaper change and do all things baby. But let's deal with that tantrum when it
comes, shall we?

In the meantime, this baby is making me fiercely nauseous in a way W never did.
I am also growing at an alarming rate. Last time I held off on maternity pants till 4
months, this time 10 short weeks and I was living in elastic waistband world.
I am taking this as a sign. This baby refuses to let me forget s/he is already using
their voice and reminding me, "mommy, I'm here" mommy, feed me" " mommy, I'm
not complacent". Sigh.
Not that I want an utterly complacent child but I could use just a little slack.

As I write this I am in a hotel room in a decadent European city on a business trip. I
have forgone a nice dinner for a Panini and sleep... I am petrified my colleagues all
know that I am hiding a pregnancy. I don't know what is more obvious saying “no
thank you” to wine after a 9 hour work day or going to bed at 8pm? Either way I will
be wearing a tent soon enough so they will all know.

-Tightrope Mama

[image: vanityfair]