Seriously – why do we keep trying???

When I first became a mother I really struggled with the notion of how was
I going to keep it all together. How was I going to be a mom, a student, a
wife, a sister, a daughter, a friend, an employee, a Christian, a neighbor, a
citizen……and keep my house clean.

Ok, a bit dramatic on the role end of things but we as mothers are so many
things to so many people, why do we feel like we have to be all of these things
and keep the house clean????

Historically there has been a pressure on mothers to be the everything for their
families, and with that expectation there has been an innate guilt built in for all
mothers to keep trying to do more and as a result mothers eventually end up
burning out. It is this burning guilt that keeps us along this slippery slope of trying
to meet these unrealistic expectations of being a mother.

Have you ever met a mother, a “super mom” who is oblivious to the pressure
and guilt that is upon her. Oblivious because she has never been surrounded
by other women who question these expectations, who question the reason
her partner does not do more, who questions why she feels down and ugly……
I know many of those women, and every time I am with these women I leave
feeling very sad – initially it was sad for myself that I was not able to keep up and
speak so positively - all the time – about being a mom, a wife…..

Now when I see these women, I feel sad for them. Sad that they have not had
a group of supportive women around them where they could unpack all of the
negatives of being a mom, the feelings of being overwhelmed, the feelings of not
being sexy, the feelings of not getting everything done and being ok with it and
feeling normal about all of these experiences …. instead of feeling inadequate.

As women we are the makers of our experiences for ourselves and each
other….let us be honest and kind to each other. If we are, that feeling of trying to
get everything done may just turn into ……. I will do the best I can.

-Gray Mama