The Ultimate Workout

A little while ago I wrote a post about vaginas and how pregnancy RUINS EVERYTHING in
that particular department. Well, enough whining, ’cause a little ago I watched Weeds and
discovered something called vaginal weights. Yup, weights for your vagina. Then Tightrope
Mama told me she was at a baby shower where someone gave them as a gift. I threatened
to get some for her after she pops out Number Two. But first I needed more information. The
Interweb obliged.

So, apparently you stick a weighted cone up your hoo-ha, and your pelvic muscles automatically contract to hold it in. Or they might. If you have to work to keep it from falling out, well, there’s your workout, and you keep working with that weight until your pelvic muscles hold it in on their own, for 15 minutes a go. Most of the sites I came across advised against walking around in the world whilst lifting your weight, just in case. It falls out. On the ground, in front of people.

And then you move up to a slightly heavier weight and do it all again. It’s called “pelvic floor
re-education.” Awesome. I’m exhausted just thinking about it. And clenching. That’s probably
all the pelvic floor re-education I can handle for now, until I can get motivated to start running
again, or cold and flu season sets in.

But if you’re interested, I found two purveyors: vagacare and ladysystem. Neither come in cheery hot pink like the one on Weeds, but just buying something called Lady System should be adorable enough. (Speaking of adorable names, I got much of my info from the adorably named site laughing without leaking) And if you’ve actually used them, pleeease tell me: is it a brilliant push present or what?

-East End Mama

[image: Queen of the Barbells via tumblr]