Coming Down with the Flu

I have had the flu three times since January. Which is probably more times then I have had the flu in the last decade. I even had a flu shot (discussion for another time, I know). I am not telling you this to elicit sympathy, but I can’t help thinking, “Why me? Why, as a mom of two kids under three, do I have to be the one debilitated in bed with terrible nausea and a splitting headache?” My husband’s answer came in one word: stress.

Twenty-four hours before this last round with the flu, here are the things that happened: I screamed at my husband in front of my kids (about Twitter), my husband was sued (again), and I had a long, heart-wrenching talk with a friend about my fear of quitting my job. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks and I had to lie down — for 24 hours — in the dark. I texted the babysitter, she luckily came, and my husband had to cancel work that night.

I haven’t ever felt this way before. I feel really weak. Physically and mentally. I can’t keep track of the things I used to have no problem with. I think about money and work constantly. I am far to attached to my iPhone. I really feel at a loss. I know a lot of life changes are coming and some are really exciting. But some just make me so scared. Parenting, I can handle. My kids, I get them. But life is really pulling me in some less than pleasant directions of late. What can I do, mommies? Women? Friends? Please don’t say do a yoga class. If I only had time…

I know this is a moment in time, which is why I feel comfortable sharing it with all of you. I know it will pass, but this is the point, right? We share the hard things too.

Tightrope Mama

[image: Ditsy Flowers by Poppy & Red]