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Monday 18 March 2013

Sloppy Seconds



With W I read all the books, I sleep trained him. I nap trained him. I taught him sign language. I NEVER turned on the TV when he was awake. With LouLou… I feed her.

I love her, of course, but I have given very little thought to her play development, her tummy
time, and her nap schedule. As I write this she is breaking every “sleep rule” there is. She fell
asleep in her car seat, so I woke her up, nursed her back to sleep, and left her passed out on
the couch! As I glance over at her, she looks completely blissed out. All milked up, Mommy
nearby, and no cold, lonely crib in sight. I suppose there is something to the whole birth order
argument that says second children are typically mellower than the first. (Right, that is a thing,
right?)

LouLou is a happy baby; she is lovely, seriously a pure joy. She rarely cries. She rarely fusses.
She sleeps all night (since birth) and all she ever really wants is for me to pick her up and talk
to her. I really feel like I have won the lottery, but I do have moments where I think, Oh my god,
she has NEVER been in her crib. She has only Jolly Jumped twice. She doesn’t know how
to sign “milk.” How will she survive? I know this may sound funny, but I am kind of serious.
Her whole life is just running parallel to our lives. I feel — wait for it — guilty. I regularly skip
playgroups and opt for a mommy movie over a child-friendly drop in every time.

But through all this perceived “neglect,” she smiles. This is the lesson of baby #2: they don’t
need much. They just need you. Obvious, I know. But as a new mom I never would have
believed this. I would have argued that simply accompanying you is not enough. A life without
structure is nothing at all. Oh, how silly I was. When you have a husband, a toddler, two
businesses, and every household task on your plate, baby is along for the ride. I comfort myself
by thinking about how much she is absorbing about how strong her mommy is. She is soaking
in female empowerment by witnessing me doing bank deposits or talking to staff while she
snoozes in a Baby Bjorn. Right?

She is happy, after all; this I know. She is sleeping like a baby… Maybe I should go join her.


-Tightrope Mama

[image: painting by Elizabeth Norse (1860-1938), via marvelous kiddo]

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